Goodbye, My Love
by IndigoNightandRayneStorm
Summary: Just how long can one suppress their emotions? And what happens when the dam breaks? Just how far will a person go for a love believed to be unrequited? Contains FIggy slash, you are warned.
1. The Jump

**Title: **Good-bye, My Love

**Author: **IndigoStarNight

**Feedback: **Yes please

**Summary:** Just how long can one suppress their emotions? And what happens when the dam breaks? Just how far will a person go for a love believed to be unrequited?

**Pairing: **FangxIggy

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Maximum Ride or the characters.

**Spoilers: **Nope

**Rating: **PG-13 for somewhat graphic suicide

**Warnings: **Slash, if you don't like, don't read. Also some serious angst and suicide warning.

**Author's Note: **Hey all, so I actually wrote this a long time ago, I was just too lazy to type it up for posting, but here it is at last. This chapter, being the first, was once posted under the pen name IndigoNight (my former pen name) under the title And To My Dearest. So there you are, here it is again, chapter two coming soon. Please review!

**Enjoy!**

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Deep in the big city the sky is hidden behind an endless wall of fortresses made of concrete and glass. 

_Dear Flock,_

The words rounded in his head, the words that he had left behind for his "family" to find, again and again, haunting him.

_I know that when you wake and find this you will be upset because I'm not there._

He was wandering aimlessly, completely unaware of where he was, or where he was going, but it didn't matter anyway.

_And I know that it will hurt, but you might as well get used to it, because I won't be back._

At last he stumbled to his knees, his legs aching. How long had he been walking? Hours it seemed, practically all night, or at least, that's what it felt like.

_I'm sorry, yes, I know, weak words, but I simply can't take it anymore. I had to leave._

He didn't have a plan when he left of where he was going to go, or what he was going to do. Certainly not the thought that came to his mind when he slowly raised his head and his eyes landed on the bottom most rung of a ladder just in front of him. It was like fate.

His mind turned to the second note he had left, explaining his true reasoning, the private one, as his gaze rested on the ladder.

_And to my dearest,_

Could he do it? He pondered the thought for only a moment before pushing himself to his feet and staggering over to the ladder.

_My "best friend". Do you remember all those long, midnight talks we had? Talking about anything and everything that entered our minds. If only you knew how sitting there, so close to you made me feel._

He pulled himself up, rung by rung, slowly. It seemed as though the heavy weight in his heart longed to pull him back prematurely to the earth, but he resisted and continued to climb. If he was going to do it, he was going to do it right.

_I wanted to tell you, but I simply couldn't bear to see the look on your face; that same look from the diner the other day._

Coward, he cursed himself. But so what? That tired, broken little voice in his head demanded. He was always supposed to be the strong one, for everyone. For Max, and Angel, and Nudge, Gazzy, for them all. But he was tired of it, he was done, he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't be the strong one anymore, dark, stoic, always emotionlessly leading the group on. Well, emotions can only be suppressed for so long. And he was sorry, but he had no strength left to give them.

_Do you remember that day? We were sitting in a diner, eating lunch, peacefully for once. When suddenly Nudge started to giggle. The rest of us looked to see why, and you demanded to know what it was. We told you it was a couple making out, and then we told you the rest, that they were both boys. Then your face changed, wrinkling up, and a strange expression filled your eyes, one that I can only define as hate, as loathing. You eyes, those eyes that have so often made me want to cry, in that moment made me want to die._

At last he reached the top of the ladder and climbed up onto the roof of that building, that building which would lead him to sweet peace. He was haloed in the soft pinks and yellows as the sun just began to crest the horizon.

_Will you miss me, my love? Will you cry? Well, I'm sorry, but I can no longer be your emotionless protector. I only wanted you to know the truth, now you can put it behind you and forget your onetime best friend who turned into such an abomination, and simply couldn't settle for what he already had._

He crossed the expanse of the roof slowly, his eyes dazzled by the brilliant light of the morning sun. He stood at on the edge, gazing down at the morning traffic far below, debating for just a moment more. Then his closed his eyes as a single tear slid down his cheek.

_I'm sorry, my love, good-bye._

His wings pulled tightly into his body, the wind screaming in his ears, he fell through the air, his last flight, to meet the earth again.

_Good-bye, my love._

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. The Fall

**Hey all, so here's chapter two, only one more to go. Big thanks to my reviewer bellz2. Never fear, all, well, most, will be made clear in this chapter. Read, Review, Enjoy!**

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Iggy was the last in the camp to wake that fateful morning. The first sounds that met his sensitive ears were of confusion.

"Fang?" he asked, his hand automatically reaching over to where his best friend usually slept, but found the bed empty and cold.

An eerie, hushed silence fell over the camp and he sensed that they were all staring at him.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked, standing cautiously.

"Iggy," Max said quietly as Nudge led him over to sit with the rest of them, "Its Fang, he's gone."

"What do you mean?" Iggy demanded, his hands unconsciously clutching the ground he was sitting on and his face pale, his mind already jumping to the worst, "Was-was it erasers? What?"

"He was gone when we woke up," explained Nudge in her usual high-pitched chatter.

"Read him the note, Max," Gazzy prodded.

Max did, slowly,

_Dear Flock,_

_I know when you wake…_

The words flowed over Iggy's conscious, but he did not fully take in any of them. He didn't understand, _why Fang_, his mind asked, _why?_

_I'm sorry, yes, I know, weak words, but I simply can't take it anymore. I had to leave._

'_What? Take what?'_ Iggy wanted to know. This was so sudden, just out of the blue. Why would Fang leave? And where would he go? But he said nothing. He simply sat there pale as he listened.

The others were silent as well, waiting for his reaction.

At last Max broke the silence, "There's more," she said quietly, "folded separately, and addressed to you." She pressed a small folded piece of paper into his hands and he unfolded it, a pointless endeavor as it felt to him like just a blank piece of paper.

"Read it," he demanded, shoving the paper back into Max's hands.

There was a moment of silence as Max apparently scanned the letter before reading it aloud. At last she broke the agonizing silence, "Nudge, why don't you take Gazzy and Angel to go find some breakfast," it wasn't really a question.

"But we want-" Nudge protested.

"Go!" they went.

"Read it," reminded Iggy impatiently once their footsteps had died away.

So Max did.

_And to my dearest,_

As she read things became clear to Iggy, and at the same time even more confusing. The letter answered some of his previous questions, like Why? But in return left him with countless more questions.

At last she finished and folded the letter up again, handing it back to him. Then it was silent yet again, as Max continued to wait for a reaction.

Iggy unfolded and folded again the letter several times. His mind was swirling. Was it true? What a dumb question, obviously it was.

_I'm sorry, my love, _

_Good-bye._

Would those words ever stop echoing in his head? He doubted it, and he wasn't really sure he wanted them to.

He could still hear Fang's voice; still feel those strong hands carefully guiding him around unfamiliar places. He just couldn't believe that Fang was gone for good. No, he wouldn't accept it.

"Iggy?" she asked tentatively, "Say something?"

"I…" he faltered, unsure of what to say, "I… need some time to think," and with that he sprang to his feet and fled the small cave just on the outskirts of the big city where they had camped for the night, his hands held out before him to ward off anything before he hit it.

He could hear Max behind him, calling, but he ignored her and kept running. Shortly he heard the sounds of early morning traffic, but he kept running.

When he had run off he'd had no clear idea of where he was going or what he was doing. But slowly, without him even truly realizing it, the strong, irrepressible feeling that Fang was still nearby had seeped into his brain, and that was what sped his legs on.

After what felt like hours, how long really he didn't know, Iggy slowed, breathing heavily. Tired of being jostled every which way and stepping on people's feet, he found an alleyway and began to wonder down it.

His feet hurt and his stomach growled, loudly reminding him that he hadn't eaten anything yet that day. He was exhausted. But he didn't stop, it was almost as if some supernatural force was leading him forward. He could almost feel Fang; smell his dark, oddly intoxicating scent on the wind. Maybe he had gone crazy but, as he had by now gotten himself thoroughly lost, he didn't really have anything to loose. So he just continued following the invisible path, which probably was only in his head anyway.

He didn't know what he thought, or what he would say if, by some magical force, he did manage to find Fang.

Fang loved him, or at least, that's what the letter had said. It seemed so strange, so surreal. Fang… in love? Let alone with him. He'd never suspected anything. But it had to be true, for Fang to have left them, it had to be serious.

Despite being blind, Iggy had always thought himself perceptive, but he had never, ever sensed anything from Fang. Perhaps that was what made him so intriguing. He'd never said anything, not a word. There had been no signs whatsoever that something was wrong at all. Sure, Iggy knew that Fang was the closed sort, he didn't talk about his feels, he didn't talk much at all usually, but if Fang really cared that much, he should have said something.

Iggy was so lost in thought that he had dropped his hands to his side without even noticing he had, being continually led on by some unexplainable force. This was how he managed to run face first into a wall without any warning of its presence.

He stumbled back several steps, rubbing his now throbbing nose. Once the pain had died he ventured forward again, his hands outstretched to cautiously explore the wall in front of him. His sensitive fingers felt cold metal in two parallel bars with rungs crossed in between them, a ladder.

Still driven by the same unexplainable force, Iggy grabbed the bottom run and began to climb. With each step, each rung higher, the feeling of Fang became stronger and stronger, closer and closer.

He crested the top, stepping cautiously onto the roof of some unknown building and was suddenly hit by a vision. He could see it in his mind's eye, Fang, stepping up, just as he had, framed in the brilliant light, crossing the roof, standing on the edge, he smelled salt, saw Fang spread his arms, furl his wings, and…

"No!" he screamed, beginning to run blindly across the roof, as though Fang was still there and if only he could run fast enough he could stop him. He was crying, he was screaming. Even though he knew that Fang wasn't really there, that he was all alone on that rooftop, just the same, he knew that the vision, or whatever he'd seen, had really happened. It may have been hours ago, it may have been on the other side of the city, but he knew it had happened, and he knew what had waited for Fang below.

Before he reached the edge, Iggy tripped over some unseen protruding pipe or some such, and fell sprawling to the ground, his ankle twisted at an odd angle and throbbing, probably broken.

"Why Fang?" he screamed to the empty air, tears streaming down his face. He felt as though the weight of the entire world was crashing down on him. The pain, that Fang would do something like that, just because of him, because of words that never been said, emotions that had never been felt, it hurt, it hurt too much.

"Idiot!" he yelled, "You should have said something!" he didn't know if he was angry, or sad, in fact, it was truly impossible to define how he felt in that moment, "If you'd said something, anything! I would have told you the truth! You were wrong, Fang, you were so wrong. It wasn't _hate_ or _disgust_ that I felt in that diner that day, it was _jealousy_! Jealousy Fang!" his voice cracked, salty tears flooding into his open mouth as he screamed, "Because those two men weren't afraid to kiss the one they loved!" Somehow, despite his broken ankle, Iggy managed to stumble to his feet, screaming his pain to the heavens, tears that he had been holding back for so many months flooding unchecked down his face.

Then he experienced a single moment of surprise and shock as he suddenly felt gravity pulling at him. He fought, trying to regain his balance as he teetered over the edge of the roof, but he failed and found himself plummeting through the air.

At first he was afraid and struggled desperately to unfurl his wings and catch himself, but as he was falling backward they were caught under him, the wind working against them, there was nothing he could do to catch himself. Then a manic grin crossed his face and he stopped trying.

"Fine Fang!" he screamed, his voice becoming lost in the wind rushing past his ears, "Be that way! I'll just come to you then!" he let out an insane laugh and spread his arms, closing his eyes and waiting for the impact.


	3. To Stay

**Hey all, so here's the last chapter. Huge thanks to Foy for reviewing. Enjoy, and please please review!**

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Then it came, but he frowned, something wasn't right. Since when was concrete this soft, or this warm?

"What the hell where you thinking, idiot?" demanded a deep, husky voice.

"F-Fang?" Iggy stuttered, not believing it. He felt air rushing passed them as they lifted back higher into the air.

"Who else?" his voice was thick, and for once Iggy could feel emotion radiating from him.

"I-I-" he faltered, unsure of what to think or say. The vision, he'd been so sure it was real, but then… "I thought you were… that you had jumped…" he forced out at last.

"I did," Fang admitted quietly.

"Then… how?"

"We have wings, remember?" there was faint humor in Fang's voice, born from relief.

Iggy frowned, noticing for the first time a slight, unfamiliar slur in Fang's voice. Slowly he reached up and ran his sensitive fingers over Fang's smooth chin, his strong jaw, to his high cheeks, slightly warm, was he blushing? He frowned when Fang twitched his face away slightly, but not before he felt the slight scraps covering his cheek. Then, as though with a mind of their own his fingers found their way to Fang's lips, his lower was split.

"Gravity is a bitch," Fang explained quietly, "I didn't quite catch myself in time."

"So… so you did try to…" Iggy asked quietly, wanting it clarified.

"I couldn't, Iggy," Fang's voice was very quiet, trembling slight, "I couldn't do it."

Iggy nodded, accepting Fang's explanation, and settled back into the other bird-boy's arms, reluctantly pulling his hands away from Fang's face, quite distracted by the warm puffs of breath tickling his hands. However he was unable to stop them from lingering their way back down Fang's chest.

There was a slight jolt as they landed. Iggy frowned slightly, not knowing where Fang was taking him, but know that they couldn't be back to where the others were camped yet.

"Iggy?" Fang asked quietly. Iggy turn his head up to Fang's voice, his heart pounding. "Up on that roof top, you said you were jealous because you were afraid to kiss the one you loved, who were you talking about?" His voice was very soft, almost as though he was afraid to know the answer.

"You, stupid," Iggy laughed, Fang's tone had made him worried that it was something more serious.

There was a long pause, and Iggy sensed waves of doubt coming from him.

"Are you… making fun of me?" Fang asked at last, his voice thick with emotion.

Iggy grinned and looped his arms around Fang's neck and leaned foreword, carefully exploring the air until his lips met Fang's.

Fang gasped in surprise, but then slowly relaxed as Iggy slowly ran his tongue across his lips, requesting entrance, which Fang quickly granted him.

When at last they broke apart for air, Iggy grinned and whispered, "Maybe a little." Iggy nestled down in Fang's arms, his own arms still looped around Fang's neck.

"Iggy?" Fang asked.

Iggy grunted sleepily, burying his face in Fang's shirt. The pain in his ankle, which thus far he'd been to distracted to notice, not to mention his feet, and hands, and pretty much his whole body from his long run that day beginning to catch up on him.

"Thank you," Fang whispered, gently kissing the top of Iggy's head before lifting off again.

It was dark; Iggy had been gone all day. It was pouring rain, and Max was nearly out of her mind with worry, and Nudge's constant chatter was not helping at all.

She had just finally gotten the younger ones to sleep when in a flash of lightning a long shadow spread across the floor of the cave.

She turned and gasped in surprise and relief. "Fang! Iggy!" she cried.

Cautiously Fang stepped into the cave, Iggy snuggled deep into his chest.

"Where have you idiots been? I was worried sick!" quickly she led them into the cave, "You're soaking wet, come on," she forced Fang to sit next to the small, smoldering fire and tried to take Iggy from his arms, but Fang held him close, and even if Fang had let go, Iggy's hands were holding the dripping fabric of Fang's shirt in a death grip anyway.

At some point during the commotion Iggy had woken up and blinked up at them blearily.

"Come on," Max wheedled, "Let go of each other, you're both soaking wet, you'll catch cold."

"Fang," Iggy whined, his eyes roving blankly, still half asleep, the pain in his ankle making him even groggier.

"Bring our blankets over to the fire," Fang whispered to Max, she obeyed and Fang gently laid Iggy down on top of one.

"Fang?" Iggy asked again, refusing to let go of his love's shirt, "Please don't… run away again," he whispered.

"I won't," Fang promised softly, gently brushing the hair away from Iggy's face, "I'll be right here."

"Good," Iggy breathed as he slowly slipped away into unconsciousness again.

Max watched Fang silently as he gently removed Iggy's shirt and wrapped the sleeping boy up in three more blankets.

"Are you back then?" she asked quietly.

Fang paused, his eyes, and fingers, lingering over the delicate features of Iggy's face, before he glanced up at her, a soft, smile, uncertain in that it rarely appeared and seemed quite shy, spreading across his face. "To stay," he promised.


End file.
